Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

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When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I see through liars

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why would a man be interested in an ordinary woman while there are very beautiful and fabulous women?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why do so many autistic adults deal with self-hatred?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Why won't my mom let me come home if I'm homeless?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I actually pay taxes

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why has no country adopted the SA80/L85 rifle?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What is the story of how you met your spouse?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can read

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can count

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee